


Virus

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Juris Imprudence [11]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6376840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: SGA, John/Rodney, "This has to be an hallucination."</p><p>The paralegals are sick. Rodney and John get a sick day, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Virus

“This has to be an hallucination,” Rodney said, staring in horror. He’d come up short in the doorway, and John, checking his email on his phone, crashed into him.  
  
“What? Rodney, come on, we have work to do.”  
  
“No, no. This is a plague zone. Turn back, while you still can.”  
  
John frowned and craned his neck to peer past Rodney and into the office. Where there were no attorneys, and all of the paralegals seemed to be working in slow motion. There were boxes of tissue and bottles of hand sanitizer at every vertex in the paralegal cubicles, and both were being used often. The paralegals had a stilted rhythm going. Pause. Blow nose. Dispose of tissue. Use hand sanitizer. Work. Repeat.  
  
Lorne was slumped over at his desk, sniffling into an exquisitely-embroidered handkerchief and practically chugging a bottle of cough syrup. His eyes - bloodshot, ringed with shadows - went wide when he saw John and Rodney.  
  
“Mr. Shepprd, Dr. McKay! Didn’t you get the message? Today’s a sick day for all of the attorneys.”  
  
“We’re not sick,” John pointed out.  
  
“We are,” Lorne said ruefully, and the other paralegals nodded. “We have to finish prepping for Mr. Mitchell’s trial, because it starts on Monday, but as soon as it’s done we’re going home. Mr. O’Neill told us to tell all of the senior staff to stay home.”  
  
“We didn’t get any message,” John said. “I’ve checked my phone several times this morning.”  
  
“As have I,” Rodney said.  
  
Lorne wilted. “Oh dear. I must have forgotten. I’m so, so sorry. But please, go home. Chuck and Amelia will hold everyone’s calls unless it’s a judge or law enforcement.”  
  
Rodney nodded, backing away. John had to back up with him or get knocked over. As soon as the door closed, Rodney heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
“Thank heavens we’re being given a sick day,” he said. “Do you know how many germs those paralegals must be passing back and forth? Someone needs to put a biohazard sign on the door.”  
  
“Did you see that the paralegals are sick?” John said. “I didn’t think it was possible for them to get sick, especially not Lorne.”  
  
“With the way they drink and party after hours, illness was only inevitable,” Rodney said, waving a hand dismissively. “Although this does mean we should shift our bets in the ‘Lorne is a Robot’ office pool.” He started for the staff elevator. “Let’s go home. We can work from there.”  
  
“I’d rather take a sick day - you know, lounge around, eat comfort food.” John followed Rodney into the elevator.  
  
Rodney looked him up and down. “Yeah, there’s not going to be a lot of lounging around for you. You know what it does to me when you wear that Armani suit.”  
  
John grinned. “I dress to impress.”  
  
Rodney leaned in and kissed him, open-mouthed and filthy. “ _Oui, je sais._ ” He kept up a stream of steady French all the way home, and John was out of that suit in record time.  
  
There wasn’t a lot of lounging around for the first few hours, but all in all, it was a nice sick day.  
  
John still had the sneaking suspicion that the paralegals had been faking them out, though, so he didn’t move his bets like Rodney did. Maybe Rodney was right, and they had been hallucinating that morning. It was a damn nice hallucination, though. So when Rodney came back to bed after checking his email and moving his bets, John dragged him close and cuddled him until they both fell back to sleep.


End file.
